How I Lost 20lbs || Updated Weight Loss Story

                                     How I Lost 20lbs // My Updated Weight Loss Story                                       
 
I thought I would mark my return with a little update on my weight loss story/journey. It is an ongoing journey for me, sometimes one I enjoy and other times I loathe. Though weight is an increasingly sensitive and negatively transcribed subject, it is one I approach with honesty. 

I will start from the beginning. Like most, I started off with the intention to lose a bit of weight. Through school I had been carrying my 'puppy fat' for a little bit too long, and holding on to the hope that I would grow a little taller. That never happened, and no, I never grew out of the 'puppy fat' stage. Your teens is the most difficult time of your life, emotionally and physically you are experiencing changes that you don't understand. You are getting emotional about silly things, you are coming into the 'important' parts of your education, you are perhaps getting your first boyfriend... and things seem to be in just one chaotic cycle of emotions. That's OK! I would however, like to point out that as I have grown older I look back, and think about how hard it must be to be a parent of a teenage daughter. Keeping up with the constant cyclone of emotions is pretty daunting to me!! 

However, in my early teens, I never really batted an eyelid about my weight. I would come home from school, snack on unhealthy food, and just slob out on the sofa. I am not one for sports, I HATE competitive sport and would do anything to avoid it. I knew my eating habits were bad, I was quite aware of that. Though, I would like to point out that my weight gain/chubbyness was completely my own fault and my own doing. I was a sneaky eater, I would eat in private and hide it from others, often lying about what i'd eaten that day. It was when I reached 15/16 that I realized this had to stop. It was the summer of 2009, the year of my GCSE's, the summer of my prom and the summer that I went on holiday with a friend. I was shocked by the pictures from this holiday especially, and now, I despise looking back on my prom pictures. It was a lovely day, and at the time, I felt fine and completely confident. The pictures however told a different story:

It was at this fragile age that I began to feel conscious about my weight, knowing that I wasn't perhaps as 'skinny' as my friends. Though, I must say I was never unhappy or had extreme insecurity issues. The thing I love about myself, and I pride myself on is my positive attitude - I would define myself as a pretty well-rounded self confident women. Yes, I have my problems, but weight was never at the forefront of them. I did however have a will to change my body. During this time, I really had no idea how to go about it. I wasn't aware of online communities or blogs, like tumblr that we have now. It was simple, I just cut down on my snacks.

When school came back around I made the decision to start jogging every morning. I remember distinctly waking up at silly o'clock and running for 10 minutes - I was rubbish. I have a complete love-hate relationship with running, and back then it was completely hate. Unsurprisingly, it didn't last very long. I was trying to force myself in to exercise and the more I forced, the more I hated. It was tough. I didn't know what path to take, but I carried on eating healthy. The pounds did come off slowly, but the difference wasnt significant. 

I hate to admit it, but one thing that did spark the beginning of my weightloss was something that most girls will experience one way or another - the heartbreak diet. Now, I was usually the one to run to food for comfort, but this time it was completely different. I lost a few pounds, I saw a difference and so did my friends. It was this summer I decided to join the gym with two of my friends. I can categorically say it was one of the BEST decisions I ever made. I learn't so much during that summer, I lost 10lbs and I loved my body. 

Then, Uni came around. I was victim to the freshers 15. I put my hands up and take complete blame for it - it was the food. I know most people link a lot of boozy nights out with weightgain, but I am not a huge drinker myself. Living by myself for the first time, I took a lazy attitude to food. Id stick things in the oven, and munch away - bacon sandwiches were my weakness, and chicken nuggets were my dinners. I am so ashamed to admit it - but you learn from these bumps in the road. I remember my boyfriend coming to visit, and we were going out on a night out. I tried on around 10 dresses, with only one of them fitting me. I burst into tears, I think it took Jack by surprise!! Again, I had another realization that things had to change, my hard work over the summer had been completely destroyed and I was feeling my lowest. The next 6 months were very much the same, yoyo-ing between weight and not dedicating myself. I wasn't able to make that commitment. Yep,  I went to the gym every so often, but I couldn't commit. My relationship with food was atrocious, I'd eat hardly anything one day, and i'd binge the next. It was a very dangerous thing to do.

However, something changed in my second year a uni. I lived further away and walked to my lectures everyday. Having a nice kitchen (not crappy student halls), I was more inclined to cook meals. I also started working in a pub, which really brought structure to my day. I would eat three meals a day, which were mainly meat and veg. I would go to a gym class at uni 3 times a week and things really kicked off. I was losing weight, my jeans were getting looser and I loved it. Of course, it wasn't all easy, I would have days where I would binge, and I still do. In fact, I had one last night. I love my food and I would never fully deprive myself, I just had to learn how to make the right choices.

It is now a year from then and although I am a few pounds heavier than last year, I am happy. I go to gym classes 4 times a week Monday-Thursday and make the conscious effort to eat three meals a day. It is not always easy, my schedule is very busy and I am always up and about. But by PLANNING ahead, I do manage to get by. I am off to Thailand in the summer and I do plan on losing a little more, and toning up so I am 100% happy. I have never been a skinny girl, and I will never be the ultimate girl figure. But I am me, and, to be honest, I love my curves. Here are some up to date pictures of me - 

Sophie xx